dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize