I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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