evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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