hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
