never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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