No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
