Soap is not a condiment
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize