So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
