The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
