Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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