Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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