it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
