What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
