If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
