Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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