Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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