I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I looked at my own cervix.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
