i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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