Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
