I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
