On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
