Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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