NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize