I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
