Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think i got beer on your cat.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
