I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
