So drunk its hurt
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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