Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
