what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize