hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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