my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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