I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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