I wish I only lived at night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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