she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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