Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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