My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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