This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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