Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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(561): View more from Florida

i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.

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(516): View more from New York

I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner

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(702): View more from Nevada

The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?

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