you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Randomize
