If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
