Porn is love you can see.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
