that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
