I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
