I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
