So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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