ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
