Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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