just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
