yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
