Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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