I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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