I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she told me i tasted like america
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
