dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
