im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
