My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
