Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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