I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We had to coat check the pizza.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
