he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
