So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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