White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She bit a glass in half.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
