Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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