She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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