My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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