Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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