come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you would pick up someone in the library
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
