I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
