i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Do vagina's smell?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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