I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize