awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
